Communication Challenges in the Workplace: Of Fear, and Deliverables.. Can you hear me now?

 

Communication Challenges in the Workplace:  Of Fear and Deliverables.. Can you hear me now?

"Thomas A Harris, MD author of the NY Times Best Seller, I'm OK, You're OK", wrote the book as a practical guide to Transactional Analysis and awareness, as a method for solving problems in life.  He asserted that a person’s psychological state seems to change in response to different situations. 

This sets the stage for some of our greatest challenges in the workplace.  How is it a roomful of people can attend a meeting and get such completely different responses to the same conversation or presentation being held in a business arena?  The answer is simple, but mastery of your role in this participatory business of work, is not always so easy.    Business demands and deliverables are a constant. Everyone might be in the same room but its that "okay-ness" with each other and the topic that keeps everyone on the same page.

THE CHALLENGE OF COMMUNICATIONS IN THE WORKPLACE: What is being said is always being heard with a filter of what the listener hears, what is going on, what they think is intended, and what they think they should be doing with the information being communicated. 

I observed several new managers in the IT space who communicated very well working to their social style and some of the things they did well included making sure to consider all sides,  establishing a structure for consistently giving, and receiving standard business information, creating a personal structure for giving, and receiving constructive feedback, and creating a workforce that considered the environment and the people in it, to be respectful, aligned and practical. 

In one IT help desk a small group of 30 people were told that their jobs were going away unless they moved to another state.  Some were out of jobs in the end of a month or so, those that remained, having just moved cross country, would be responsible for picking up slack and helping hire and grow a help desk with average hold times of an hour and a half,  most ticket agents had a 3 month backlog of tickets awaiting response.  The NEW manager created a weekly reporting system, held weekly staff meetings and one on ones.  In his first meeting to staff he announced that our work was appreciated, his role was to help us work effectively, and he would announce the new plan within 30 days.  No tips, no secrets, no backbiting, no gossip, he was open and transparent as he observed an organization of horrific morale, overworked, under appreciated, burnt out, tired and trying to win.. For 30 days he said nothing, moderated nothing, offered no direction, he observed, and on day 31, he presented a concise picture of the challenges, the organization, the staffing plan, the leadership requirement at a staff level.. He captured it all, what was happening, why it was happening, what talents existed, and how we would use those talents to recover, what we would be doing differently, and a call to action. We were on board!! We were ready!! He created a compelling turnaround conditions that took us from beat, tired and ready to quit to engaged, inspired, and wanting to be a part of the organization.  Within 9 months we grew a help desk to 130 people, average hold times on the phone of 20 seconds to 2 minutes and 94% customer satisfaction! 

Hearing helps!!  It helps you understand what is real, what is needed, and what we can do to make a huge and material difference.  Interference gets in the way though.. Being too busy in meetings to do, to observe, to hear or plan a different more practical course... Being afraid when you are in an environment where everyone gets fired for wrong mistakes in pace, engagement, being too agressive or not enough assertive, being not liked as much, or favored by the few.

1. Participate in listening, understanding and suggesting solutions.
2. Honor your commitments and keep your word. 
3. Recognize other team member and participant's positive contributions, participation, accomplishments, and ideas.
4. Be approachable, authentic and maintain open communications to create partners, do not let fear cause you to over run someone, blindside them or place blame.
Consider team dynamics and the work environment when delivering verbal and nonverbal communications

Choose to be a collaborative positive partner in all times, respect, consideration and try to call a positive light, clear actions and opportunity to the team you relate with.  

HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY LISTENING SKILLS IN TENSION? 

Know thyself, and try to practice some strategies for some of your fear triggers that impede effective communications.. What are the types of things that cause you to struggle to stay present in communications?  For me it is fear of unresolveable failure, that I would make a mistake so bad that others would be able to judge me negatively and I would be out of a job or position I dearly loved and wanted to be successful in.  This fear given enough power can change the way I hear, and speak. So In my life, I would try to identify the triggers that cause me to feel like I am defending myself, instead of participating in a communication.   

What if the communicator is in fear?  Hear and acknowledging another does not mean we need to "go there" to that very feeling of loss and fear with them, to relate and help them feel heard.  One of the challenges of an organization in dysfunction, is when the dysfunction gets in the way of more meaningful work.  What is it I can do or see or appreciate about what is being communicated, so that we can work together the best? 

• Managing YOUR fears: HelpGuide.Org produced a very effective Guide to EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS that offers strategies for managing your ability to manage your fears, and communicate well with others in the process.
• Working WELL with others:  Susan Adams wrote a very nice article in Forbes on How to Communicate Effectively at Work.  I liked the notion of being aware of your feelings, and choosing a response that is open ended, respectful and with a can do spirit, even to a situation that is feeling completely wrong, negative and counterproductive.  Like "Can you give me a bit more information to make sure I understand what you are requesting?  Have you had a situation where that strategy worked?”

WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS THINK?  OR How am I being perceived??   We don't always know how we are coming across, and it can be pretty subjective based upon who is the sender, the receiver, and the context.  Conflict is managed by clarifying understanding and trying to not to be upset or derailed by the actions of others until you understand the situation.

Its a business review meeting, full of people, lets consider just a few: scenarios:  

PERSON	OTHER’S IMPRESSION	WHAT PERSON’S THINKING	WHY PERSON’S THINKING IT
1	Rude and Controlling	·         This Group failed before ·         Don’t let derailments happen  ·         Must get this promotion I need ·         What can I do to get the mountain of work managed? ·         How can I engage others effectively and maintain control, until I understand the complexity?	·         Must get rid of failures, get things done ·         Must prove myself finally ready for the big promotion,  they never promote people like me, I must seem stronger
2	Aggressively pushy	·         Last person in my role was fired for not getting anything done when the didn’t get information,  I cant make that mistake. ·         Listen, Understand better, ask  questions ·         Must keep this job I can not afford to be the next person fired for the same reason. ·         Wow everyone seems to be working afraid here, how can we work together and solve the right problems?	·         Last person helped me a lot and they are gone.  What if the good things I said about them, labeled ME a problem?  ·         Must prove myself worthy of keeping, they seem to let go of people who go either to fast or slow. ·         How can I show value without hurting others
3	Were they even there?	·         People get fired for speaking out to ask questions,  I will quietly take notes, observe and speak when spoken to ·         Listen, Understand better, observe until I know, and speak when spoken to.	·         Must keep my head down and not attract attention to myself ·         Must listen more, study more and observe more, I fear I don’t know enough.

Morale of the story is that when giving or receiving judgements, there are many angles to consider on why people see it the way they do.  Fear is a mighty driving factor,  effective communications considers how people might be feeling, and how you can communicate through it.  Its up to each of us, to bring our personal best to the table as we really do not always know our peers and managers as well as we might think, and it helps to really stay engaged.. Relationships AND deliverables matter and a team that functions well, appreciates both aspects.

COMMENTS?  What Workplace Communication Challenges have you faced and found a grace under pressure?  How do you manage difficult communications  
 

We will offer overviews of the concepts, and perhaps blog more on application, with your involvement, expand our possibilities. If you have ideas, let us know.

Dawn C Khan: ~ about.me | twitter | linkedin |